dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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