nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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