oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
