are you so shy because you have an std?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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