so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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