It's Friday. Sex?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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