He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize