we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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