HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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