He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
