Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Houston, we have a blender
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
