Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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