Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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