I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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