direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
