Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
