...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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