Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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