You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
