that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
