I think I won the penis lottery.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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