Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
