Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
