It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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