I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize