I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
