Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
