He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
