He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
