i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
