If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
