Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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