If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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