dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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