I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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