Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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