party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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