Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
