I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
