If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
