Four minutes until I can fart!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
