I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
