If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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