I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
