thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
