Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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