When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
