wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She bit a glass in half.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
