her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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