Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize