so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
