what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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