brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
