did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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