toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so let's talk penis.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
