someone get that fucking seahorse.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
