did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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