ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
