His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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