It was confusing and full of hummus
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
