i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
