Please, let me fuck your mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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