pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
