After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.