What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?