I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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