He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work