she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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