Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
