i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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This is my gift to your gina
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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