oh god the rape fog is back!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
