for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
