so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
