Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
  Replies (95) Good night (1096) Bad night (3576)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1245) Bad night (2871)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.

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  (315): The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style. http://tfl.nu/brn7
  Replies (15) Good night (5137) Bad night (1163)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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  (224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix
  Replies (14) Good night (5233) Bad night (1073)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex

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  (256): FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex http://tfl.nu/6kmk
  Replies (23) Good night (1219) Bad night (5717)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out

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  (508): he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out http://tfl.nu/cxh0
  Replies (8) Good night (4001) Bad night (855)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.

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  (609): I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments. http://tfl.nu/kh7m
  Replies (6) Good night (1508) Bad night (1174)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

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  (541): You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize. http://tfl.nu/yage
  Replies (5) Good night (2644) Bad night (1017)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.

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  (304): Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea. http://tfl.nu/ejed
  Replies (6) Good night (2491) Bad night (651)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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  (509): Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right? http://tfl.nu/bnll
  Replies (16) Good night (1726) Bad night (676)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.

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  (208): Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia. http://tfl.nu/c7aa
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (1269)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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  (507): You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success. http://tfl.nu/320u
  Replies (6) Good night (1485) Bad night (442)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?

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  (347): Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it? http://tfl.nu/mhp5
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (241)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later

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  (587): You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later http://tfl.nu/y2r0
  Replies (6) Good night (901) Bad night (231)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.

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  (214): This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given. http://tfl.nu/z7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (781) Bad night (227)

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