Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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  (816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5
  Replies (8) Good night (2984) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

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  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (756) Bad night (3468)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone

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  (812): my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone http://tfl.nu/r2zj
  Replies (37) Good night (3912) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".

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  (936): I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway". http://tfl.nu/2ye8
  Replies (39) Good night (921) Bad night (3375)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  New channing tatum movie.

  (858): View more from California

  I'll bring my vibrator.

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  (303): New channing tatum movie. (858): I'll bring my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/ing8
  Replies (26) Good night (6400) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.

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  (417): I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/6bqy
  Replies (16) Good night (4917) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2879) Bad night (1227)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.

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  (720): I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom. http://tfl.nu/lin9
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?

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  (407): How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong? http://tfl.nu/4ez3
  Replies (12) Good night (1184) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug

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  (412): I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug http://tfl.nu/u06h
  Replies (3) Good night (565) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?

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  (224): We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today? http://tfl.nu/c57g
  Replies (16) Good night (1595) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.

  (1-805): View more from California

  That's kinky shit dude.

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  (805): It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening. (1-805): That's kinky shit dude. http://tfl.nu/fc85
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So how was the sex with me last night?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No worse than usual.

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  (202): So how was the sex with me last night? (703): No worse than usual. http://tfl.nu/1snn
  Replies (4) Good night (461) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore

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  (715): I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore http://tfl.nu/hhtw
  Replies (3) Good night (270) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.

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  (425): I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis. http://tfl.nu/1o6v
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (317)

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