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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He's been sleeping iwht ***

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Nooo

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb

  (816): View more from Missouri

  And then hit her in the face with a shovel

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.

  (425): View more from Washington

  'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (858): View more from California

  Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip

  (858): View more from California

  It's the little things

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• (315): View more from New York

  He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...

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• (735): View more from

  I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  not ubering you a puppy

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened

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