Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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(951): View more from California

Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.

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(817): View more from Texas

i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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(828): View more from North Carolina

At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice

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